Mommies, Stress is your big enemy

I’m writing this blog to help all the ladies who are trying to become mommies or about to. This is all from my personal experience.

Wanting to plan a baby is quite a stressful phase. We feel pressured by our loved ones, by our peers, and by society, of course. It’s easy to say that plan a child or when you are thinking to plan or asking if you are pregnant, asking the couples about their parenthood goals, all of this stresses them more.

There are various factors that affect an individual’s fertility. Today’s lifestyle has deteriorated significantly, and it’s not just us contributing to this unhealthy way of living; it’s a pervasive issue. We can’t trust what we eat or drink. Most importantly, we live in a world where we want everything (which is also crushing our mother nature), and we all know it comes with a great cost. No matter how much we try, there are a number of factors affecting us, and our health. This is applicable for both men and women. These few factors are hard to control, but medically we can still try. A gynecologist can help in such cases.

When we started planning our baby, I was initially doing good emotionally. A few of my friends already had their first and a few were about to, and a few were planning like me. My both families wanted us to plan one, for a long time already.

It was the time we want to have a child. Passed a month and then the second, and then the third, as the third month passed, I grew anxiety. I was like why its not happening. Four months down, came the second covid wave. My whole family tested positive including my husband, and I was the only exception. Seeing the world struggle and seeing your family struggle is a bit different. The brighter side here was the world was standing together, this was the toughest time I saw, as a human and as a family member. Touchwood, all my friends and family recovered. As my husband too was infected, we planned to give a pause of 3–4 months to our planning, and let him recover.

After 3 months of pause, we got ourselves tested medically (a complete body health check-up) before we resumed planning. I can recall, it was just one month after we resumed, I had a breakdown, losing all hope, it was a very sad day for me. But the very next day, my husband and I planned to visit our old gynecologist, she has good experience and is a very good consultant. She suggested to me two things, one to lose weight and another one is to get rid of stress.

Yes, stress is our biggest enemy.

I managed to keep myself stress free at least until my baby was 2 months old. People who know me would say it is huge, I take stress very easily.

It took me some days to get into the habit of not being stressed. To do so I’d started watching comedy series, movies, and even stand-up comedies, planned a trip, planned evenings with friends and family. Meanwhile, I also referred to a dietician to lose weight and started regular walks too. I tried everything to keep myself happy. There were times, when I used to feel low, about why it still isn’t happening, but I was able to pull myself up.

God has set the time right, but sometimes we get impatient for that right time. I feel it’s natural, and this is what we call ‘being tested’.

What I learned during this time was it only affects you as a person, and no one else. It’s hard to keep stress free but we have to do it. We have to stop talking to or being with toxic people. I’d cut all my strings during my pregnancy with such human beings, and I feel even God wanted so.

After a couple of months I conceived, I was super happy, my whole family was super excited. My husband immediately got a new job offer, for which we had to relocate, and we relocated, and luckily I had my extended family there. I got to spend a really good time with my extended family there, but I missed my family, although they kept travelling between the two cities.

God too wanted me to be happy, even my work was also sorted. I had a project where my colleagues were very understanding, they supported me a lot. This is what I wanted and God gave me. I did not have many complications during my pregnancy (except the usual nausea). My husband too supported me throughout this phase, he was there emotionally and physically. He made sure that I get whatever I want. His only motive was to keep me happy, there were small hiccups but we all (me, my husband, my extended family, and my family) managed to enjoy that period.

My baby arrived healthy and beautiful too.

Important thing here is your physical and mental wellbeing, I feel rest all gets well, as well.

To all the mommies, if you are planning, or have already conceived, it’s very important to focus on yourself, more and a lot . Do whatever you like, eat what you feel and is safe for you two, do things that make you happy, watch & read things that keep you happy and motivate you as well.